Conversation #9

Hashim Conner asks: Is the biggest problem between men and women that women are constantly thinking about the future, while men are constantly thinking in the present?

Ellington

Man, women think about the PAST TOO MUCH. They may not ever say it or bring it up (until they get mad enough), but that’s the biggest problem lol

Elantis
Yes, yes and yes! From males ranging from 21 to 40! Wuz up wit that?!

Hashim Conner

That's true to Ellington, I agree with that as well. Elantis it's a little bit harder for us to think about the future because we are so consumed with today! I think it's in our upbringing!

Jennifer

No, the biggest problem is that the two are usually thinking too much and talking to each other too little!!!

Elantis
True 2 all statements made!

Hashim Conner

Great point Jenn!!!

Tiffany

Nope.

Hashim Conner
Tiffany I know that's not all you offering today!!!!

Eva
Agree w/Ellington cuz I’m so guilty of doing that when I get mad hehehe (getting better @ putting that N/ check though) yet Jennifer your statement rings so true.

Krystl
I think the biggest problems amongst the two sexes are a lack of communication. We all probably think about past, present, and future but may verbalize one thought more than another.

Ellington
Jennifer is right!! Is communicating just not the thing to do nowadays? lol Ohhhh let me take that back...because we DO communicate!!! But its not until We have done all of our thinking lol NE-Yo said it best lol I guess it’s gonna be a lot of making up before we all go to bed everyday lol

Krystl
Lamar, I think women think about the past when their mate is still trying to live in it. My most popular saying is "don't let your past dictate your present because it can destroy your future."

Eva
Well put Krystl...I’m learning lots from this.

Traci
Ok and what’s the problem with that? The two right people create what you call BALANCE!

William
You are so very right!! Leave all of it behind because the past is the past!!

Ellington
Krystl, that may be true SOMETIMES, but MOST of the time when woman think about the past it isn’t because the man is still trying to live in it, it’s because the woman won’t forget it. MEN have SHORT memories!! We don’t remember ANYTHING unless some JOGS our memory! We remember little stupid stuff like what happened in gym class and A whole bunch of funny stuff. You can ask me RIGHT NOW about something reckless I did relationship wise and I would have the slightest idea what you are talking about for the 1st 45 mins!! BUT KENYELE can tell the whole ordeal word for word lol

Elantis
So true on males with the short memory!

Hashim Conner
Well I am glad that I was able to think of a conversation that is helpful to you Eva! Krystl I can truly understand your comment about the past being the past, and ruining your future. What I have to say to that is simple there is a reason that your past is your past and if someone is attempting to live in the past that can be trouble. But if you don't mind and have the time can you give us a little more about a mate living in the past

Hashim Conner
Ellington great example and I totally agree with that statement. We do have short memories.

Krystl
Lamar I think you CHOOSE to forget. Lol. To go back to the original question, I don't think women think about the future any more than men. What we think about may be totally different. Women may think about getting married, having kids, etc whereas the men may be thinking about what his next car will be. And Traci is right...it's called balance. A mom may be planning for her 10 year old child's college fund while dad is thinking about the child's current standing in school. There are no statistics to prove who thinks about what more so again communication is the key.

Traci
What’s wrong with that? If you have the two people together that would create "Balance"! Everyone does not need to always think alike. His present and my future could work well together! The main focus should be communication and

Kevin
U need a talk show homie! 4 real!.....this might be the best one I've seen!

Traci
Honestly FB fam i think this discussion is not hitting on Hashims status! i think we really got of the real subject!

Ellington
Lol! I don’t choose to forget ANYTHING! Lol it’s honestly just the way it is I wish I could remember EVERYTHING. I hate that I can’t! We just MOVE ON to the next chapter quicker than women do! Y’ALL(most of y’all) HARP ON EVERYTHING y’all never let things GO! WE DO! Lol BLESS Y’ALLS LIL HEARTS ;)

Hashim Conner
Thanks Kev, I appreciate it!!!

Hashim Conner
Go hard Ellington!!!

Elantis
In defense of past vs. future someones past traits can trigger a bad memory if someone in your future does the same thing. Its not always bad especially if u don’t want to go thru the same B.S. Again.

Ellington
TEAM PLAYER!!!! lol

Krystl
Sure! I'm sure everyone has exes whether it be husbands, wives, baby momma, daddy, etc. If ur in a relationship and you find yourself communicating with an ex on a regular it can get real messy and it can possibly spark old flames. Who needs/wants the drama? Let it be what it is...the past. My question would be "would my man be comfortable if he ... Read Moreknew my ex and I were conversing on a regular and reminiscing about the past?" Or "could I or would I feel comfortable sharing this with him?" Or "am I hiding the fact that I'm talking to ex? If the answer is yes to the 1st 2 and no to the last question u probably need to check yourself! P.S. When children are involved I'm sure it's different...:-) Gotta go back to work now!

Krystl
Yeah ok Lamar...Lol. We'll discuss this later...off FB!

Hashim Conner
Very good point Elantis!

Traci
How does every man catch "Selective Memory"? They should have a vaccination for that! LOL

Elantis
Lmbo @ Tracey! I got that also especially when it’s convenient 4 me! Lol

Hashim Conner
That was exactly what I thought you may have been talking about. The key point to that statement is "ON A REGULAR" If you find yourself having regular discussions with an ex then you are correct it could cause problems for you. But is there really a problem communicating with a ex every blue moon? Statement two would be the fact that every ... conversation with a past relationship doesn't stroll down memory lane; they seem to only get there if you are talking on a regular. Speaking for most men if my girl was talking to an ex one I am pretty sure that I wouldn't know about it if she was talking to him on a regular that may be an issue but not as much of a concern if she talked to him every now and then. If you all were reminiscing about the past that could be an issue! Another key is the fact that past relationship ended for some reason or another. Both parties know this and that alone may be enough to ensure they don't stray back down that path!

Tiffany
Ok, ok...men and women differ because they want to....enough said.

Hashim Conner
Wow Tiff!!!!!!

Elantis

Everything that has been stated 2day was n the book i read by Steve Harvey Act like a lady think like a man. That book enlightened me on how men think. It’s totally different. We r totally different!

Hashim Conner
You will also find similar things in my next book! The Congregation which will be out soon!!!

Traci
This has been another great discussion! "Point Seen, Money Gone"!

Krystl
Babe we need to invite everyone to the next "hot topics" party! Great discussion! And I'm Lol @ my girl Tiff! Luv ya boo! I'm really going to have to read Steve's book!

Hashim Conner
Everyone is invited to the next hot topics discussion!!! Whenever it is!!!

Tiffany
Let me start hustling rite now!!!! Can I hitchhike for a plane? Someone tell me please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Conversation #8

This week I will be adding one of my favorite parts of Karma, where Christopher Alexander has his first sexual experience. I chose this because it shows another side of one's sexual experience, the first one. In most books you find an unbelievably sensual, sexy and erotic scene, that we all dream of, with the male knowing just what to do, what to say, and how to act. He is perfect in bed and pleases the woman to no end, the stuff fairy tales are made of. In the scene I've chosen, it is Christopher's "very first time". I had to keep it as real as possible, so that when each of my readers remember back, it showed realness, a familiarity and brings to mind an awkward, yet memorable time. We know it wasn't as magical as we'd hope our first time to be but a fond (and sometimes not so fond) memory non-the-less. So sit back and enjoy one of my favorite parts of the book!

“Hey birthday boy what’cha doing?”

Nothing, much on this game being bored, what up wit you?

“Nothing just came over wit moms to visit, and to give you your present.”

Oh yeah you got a gift for me, since when do I get gifts?

“Since now, is that a problem? You could’ve been getting this gift.”

No, it’s not a problem. Not a problem at all. As a matter of fact I think it’s kinda sweet. So what I get?

“You’re looking at it.”

Quit playing, what you tryna say?

“I’m not playin, I’ve been tryin to give you this for months, and you be tryna act like you don’t want.

Not today though, you gone give me what I want this time.”

Is that right? And here I thought it was my birthday.

“It is now come here, and turn that game OFF!”

Caught a little of guard, because it’s my first experience I slowly moved closer. As if I was following orders, she slowly slid her hand into my shorts, and grabbed my friend entirely too tight showing her inexperience. All the while, licking my lips for me, which to this day turns me on. With her free hand she slowly guides my hand under her skirt to my surprise, she had come more than prepared for the event. As soon as my hand hit center stage I felt the heat, and moisture of her own personal sauna. At that time, it was the most beautiful feeling that I had felt. She hadn’t worn any panties today, and was immediately prepared to straddle me, and let me explore her depths. As soon as I felt her warmth, my mind began to race. I tried to think of anything, but the pleasure in my lap. I was told that it would help you last longer, unfortunately my body had prepared for something very different. As she frantically slid herself up then down, up then down. I closed my eyes and envisioned myself in another place, which didn’t work for long at all. As she breathed and moaned oh so softly into my ear, I could barely keep control of myself. She softly expressed how much she wanted this, and how long she had waited for me to take her. As her words and moans slid out of her mouth, and into my ears, I slid just as easily in and out of her until I could feel my entire body explode. I could barely catch my breath, she must have felt the same, because her body went limp, and she collapsed on my shoulder. Afterwards, she quickly sat up and pulled her skirt down, and then took a quick glance at herself in the mirror.